Never Gone
by sebsbadkitty
Summary: The cure was lost before Elena could be returned to human and Stefan left shortly after. I left it all behind a year later and fifty years past before I came back.. entirely in Damon's POV. Mostly Damon and Stefan, but most of the gang are mentioned or appear briefly.


Sire bonds are tricky little things. That was something I learned quite suddenly in this irritating life. It didn't matter much to me at first, and it only mattered a hairline fracture more the second time around. That was until I learned something else, but that barely mattered either. I simply went with it, accepted it. I didn't like it though. Selflessness had never been my strong suit. So why was it I came back to this awful town? I had no answers to that, but there I stood in front of a house that I used to see as mine. It was well kept, surprisingly. Last time I saw it, it had no one to watch over it. I had left it to the dogs.

Grimacing darkly, I turned my back on it and began to walk away through the crisp snow that glittered in the moonlight and back toward my car. It didn't matter. It wasn't as though I planned on staying. I didn't even know why I was there. Nothing was there for me. I knew that. I had to sum it up to my own twisted version of self-harm. That had to be it. I could accept that. Lord knew I was self-destructive on my best day. It wasn't as if I was having a remotely good day at the moment either.

"Did you really just come to gawk and leave?"

I stopped in my tracks at the voice behind me. I hadn't even heard the door open or noticed anyone around. I gave myself a mental kick. I was losing my edge it seemed, especially if I didn't notice my brother watching me. I merely shrugged my shoulders and kept walking. Whatever I had come there for, facing Stefan had certainly not been it. He didn't appear to agree with that, because a second later, he was in front of me.

"My motive doesn't matter," I said. "So get out of my way. I have chicks to enjoy and places to see."

I attempted to pass him, but he didn't let me. Instead, the dick grabbed me. I stared down at the hand that gripped my leather jacket and then looked up to glare at him as I ripped my arm away. He stared back at me and I watched his features harden slightly.

"Where's Elena?" he asked suddenly.

"How should I know? Haven't you been keeping in touch with your friends?"

He raised an eyebrow but said nothing. The intensity of his stare could burn through steel, however. It made me uncomfortable faster than I would care to admit. I shifted on the balls of my feet and growled in frustration. I didn't want to talk about this. Not at all.

"I left her at one of Caroline's parties about a year after the cure was destroyed and you disappeared," I admitted and watched his features darken. "Don't give me that look. You were the one that wanted me to cut myself off from her, remember? Regardless, I haven't been back here or talked to any of them since so hell I really don't know where Elena is."

I moved around him and headed back to my car. It was time to leave. Coming back was a mistake the moment my brother spoke. I wasn't going down the same road twice. Funny enough, Stefan didn't want me to leave it seemed. He found his voice just as I was opening my door.

"I was long gone," he said. "Why'd you do it?"

That was a good question, but it was also a loaded one. Stefan had to know the answers. He was just dredging up the past. That was one of the reasons I had spent the last fifty years avoiding him like the plague – or more accurately like a werewolf bite. Being a vampire the plague was as meaningful as dirt to a corpse. Werewolf bites could still kill one. That being the case, I really didn't want to talk about this with him. Knowing my brother, he wasn't going to let me walk away without answering.

"What would you like me to tell you, Stefan?" I shot, spinning around to face him so he could see the glare of frustration in my features. "I let her go. End of story. You want the juicy details go hunt down Barbie vamp. Hell, maybe Elena's been tagging along with her all these years. I'm sure Caroline would just love to tell you how I left inch by gory inch."

"She already told me half of it," he said softly as I turned back to my car, which made me turn back to glare at him. "I wanted to hear your side."

"Since when?" I shot. "You've never cared for my side. Why start now?"

I was pissed and he saw it. He swallowed and looked away from me. I watched him, wanting to leave, but now I had my own questions that I wanted answers to. I crossed my arms and waited for them.

"Care got a hold of me the night you left Elena and told me you left town," he explained. "The bit that intrigued me was that Elena was sad but not crushed. A week later, I got into town and pressed for details. Elena simply said that you left and told her that she was better off, that she didn't need you. Caroline seemed to know something but was a little more cryptic about it. So I went looking for you, but for some reason, I could never find you. There was one time I thought I found you though. So strange, I thought I saw you in the street and called out but next second you were gone."

It was my turn to swallow a lump in my throat. That hadn't been his imagination. I remembered that day well. It had been ten years after I left Mystic Falls behind me. I ended up in Las Vegas of all places. Considering how I left the Falls, I needed the atmosphere Vegas was famous for. I spent my time coasting the casinos and whatnot. I got careless, believing my past was long behind me for once. Then one day, I got a rude wake up call. When I saw Stefan I booked. After that, I never let him get that close to me again. That was until now.

"Ever stop to think that perhaps I didn't want to be found?" I asked.

"Yes, I did," he said. "It didn't stop me from looking. I just slowed down. I stopped a few months ago, because someone pointed out that I was on the verge of becoming obsessively creepy. So why drop off the face of the Earth?"

I sighed and thought about the best way to answer that one. Eventually, I just decided to go with the truth and explain from the beginning.

"My past bit me in the ass," I started. "If I stayed, Elena wouldn't have lived much longer. If I left, she could stay happy and alive. I realized all of that within about five minutes. The next day, I took her to Care's little party. I had a drink. I had a dance and even a little kiss. I let her go. Told her she was better off without me, safer. I told her goodbye and left her there to process it all."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" he asked. "You had to have known I was looking for you. I even called you, but then you dumped your phone or changed your number. I even sent some of your old acquaintances to you with messages only to learn you either killed them or compelled them to forget you ever existed."

"I never wanted to be found, Stefan. Can't you understand that?"

I watched as Stefan frowned at me and slowly shook his head. It wasn't an answer. It was more like a gesture of confusion. He didn't understand but I could see that he wanted to. I simply stared back at him and waited to see if he could get it on his own. It wasn't that hard. Stefan just had to think a little. He was good at that, and he proved it about a minute later. Comprehension flooded his features suddenly as he looked at me, and then his frown deepened.

"You don't just mean by me or the others, do you?" he suddenly. "You killed or compelled anyone you met in the past that I found and sent as messengers. You never checked up on Elena and wouldn't let me get too close to you. You never stayed in one place any longer than a week. You cut yourself off entirely, didn't you? Were you simply in need of some space, or did you really think you could face eternity completely alone without going insane in the process?"

"I was already insane, remember?" I asked drily. "You and everyone else loved pointing that out, didn't you?"

I saw him winced ever so slightly. It was such a small reaction that I thought I was imaging it. Then, I noticed him take an involuntary step back. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms as he avoided my gaze.

"So what if I wanted to be alone," I said. "I was always on my own, wasn't I? I just decided to make it more enforced. I never needed anyone other than myself."

"Being a lone wolf is one thing, Damon," he argued. "You went beyond that, didn't you? Whenever I thought I found you, it was by sheer luck. That was only by people you either forgot to compel or they didn't know enough about you for the need to compel them. I never found anyone who actually knew you after Vegas. What the hell happened to you? You were always the first one to work a crowd and the last one to leave. You thrived on the attention you got. How can you survive with none of it?"

I shrugged and went to get into my car. I had enough of the brotherly bonding moment. It was time to go. I was fine with spending eternity alone. It really didn't bother me much. Sometimes I would catch myself sitting at a bar with a double shot in my hand and thinking about things I would rather forget.

"I realized a long time ago that I was better off alone," I said. "Let's face it, Stef. It wasn't like I had real friends here. They were mainly pro-Stefan or they ended up dying. The exception was Elena but she died, too, didn't she? I've always been alone. I've simply stopped playing with my food over the years. Goodbye, brother."

I waved a hand at him and got into my car. As I went to shut the door, Stefan grabbed my arm. I paused and raised an eyebrow at him. He looked pointedly at my hand. I looked down and I immediately pulled it away. I knew what he noticed. I knew what was missing.

"What happened to your ring?" he asked and when I didn't answer he went on. "Damon, I'm serious. Where is it?"

"I tossed it over the bridge the night I left," I told him and sighed when he started spluttering. "Before you freak out on me, it was my last goodbye so to speak. Besides, I didn't want to be found. I left everything behind."

"You never got a new ring, though," he said. "Look, come inside at least until tomorrow night. I know you, Damon. You probably want to get as far from town as possible. With only a few hours to sun up, how far do you think you're gonna get? Bonnie's still practicing. Maybe I could get her to make you another ring. You wouldn't have to wait until sundown."

I grimaced but got out of the car and followed my brother inside, all the while trying to ignore the goofy grin that he seemed unable to hide. It didn't matter to me at all. At least I tried to tell myself it didn't. Truth be told, the expression gave me a tiny twinge of nostalgia. I hated it and just wished it would go away. Then, I noticed the inside of the house. It was all done up in green and red. I frowned and then looked at my brother.

"What the hell is this?"

"Do you even know what day it is?" he asked me. "Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, Damon. You really didn't know that?"

I frowned as I finally noticed the tree in the center of the living room. I had never really been big on holidays. Then again, I couldn't remember Stefan being big on them either. I sighed and took a seat. This was going to be a long day. Then Stefan handed me a glass of whiskey and I couldn't help but grin.

"So who's all here?" I asked.

"You'll get to see tomorrow. I'm having a party."

I found out around two o'clock in the afternoon and the outcome was surprising. Jeremy was there with his wife, son and two granddaughters. Then there was Matt and Bonnie – who was not happy to see me at all it seemed. Caroline and Tyler came in a little while later. Of course, Vampire Barbie wasn't thrilled about my presence either. The most shocking was Elena and Katherine coming in together, of course the shock in that wasn't in the entrance per say. It was obvious they still disliked each other immensely. It was the greeting they got from Stefan that amazed me. He hugged Elena and kissed Katherine. Now that was a shock. Elena barely gave me a glance, and that stung a little.

Feeling out of place but stuck thanks to the sun, I stuck to the shadows and stayed out of their way. I drank my whiskey and tried my best to ignore my brother's hard gaze burning holes in the back of my head. I spent the time counting down to sunset. When it finally came, I slipped out of the house and went for my car.

"Leaving without this?"

I stopped and turned around to see Bonnie and Caroline standing there. I grimaced slightly – so much for a second clean escape. I noticed Bonnie was holding up my old ring, however and frowned. Before I could ask it was Caroline that answered.

"I saw you toss it and for some reason I retrieved it," she explained.

"What do you two care?" I shot, feeling defensive. "You hate me remember? Just let me leave. None of you can be happy I'm here. And you two have always been shitty actresses."

"That's not entirely true," Bonnie said with a frown. "Did you not see Stefan's face? How about Elena? She hasn't pined for you or anything but she has missed you. Why would you leave them again? And don't blame us."

"Why not?" I countered. "Not like I'm needed or of much use to anyone here. Am I?"

"Would you shut up and listen to me for once?" she snapped. "I know what you're doing and if either Stefan or Elena find out will kill them. Stop being selfish."

"I'm being selfish? Stefan took off first chance he got. I stayed until I had no choice. I left because it was the only way to keep Elena safe, and trust me I don't need the ring anymore."

"Why the hell not?" Stefan's voice rang out. "If you want to leave, then just take the ring and go."

I looked at him and then looked away. I let him process my words and come to the conclusion himself. He would. He was no idiot and he knew me.

"You really pissed someone off didn't you?" he pressed. "You don't think you can beat him on your own."

"I can take him just fine, but I don't think I want to."

I didn't expect the punch in the face I got. I probably should have, though. Still, I simply looked at him with a blank stare.

"Ever stop to think that maybe you aren't as terrible as you think you are?" he shot. "I left because I needed to think my life through. When I found out you vanished, I searched for you. Elena and I begged Bonnie to help. She was living her life and moving on as you asked her to but she was worried about you. She wanted to know you were okay. We want you to stay, Damon. Please."

I frowned and eventually nodded. The next thing I knew, he was hugging me and I was being dragged back into the house. Once inside, Bonnie forced my ring on my finger.

"Don't make me regret this," she whispered just as Elena came up to me.

I smirked at her and gave her a kiss.

"You know this party sucks right?" I asked and chuckled as objects were thrown at me.

Okay, I had missed this town and the residents a little. That being said, I was glad to officially be back.


End file.
